Do not read if hormonal

Warning – this is sad.

I’m sure if you’ve seen or talked to me recently, I’ve shown you a picture of my little patient. I was his primary nurse and I was obsessed with him. I loved recounting every time he gave me a little gummy infant smile and the day he learned to laugh (just on Wednesday!). Here’s an unsurprising secret – babies think it’s hysterical when you make crazy faces and tickle their necks. Unfortunately, he started to go downhill this weekend and he was “redirected” to comfort care only (no interventions) on Sunday night.

I’m sorry to say that he passed away early on Monday morning. Fortunately, I was able to be at work that night and care for him. I promised myself that he would not be put down all night and I am so grateful to my coworkers that we were able to give that gift to him. I had another patient so we all took turns carrying him and snuggling him and whispering strong words to him as he got worse and worse.

Around 330am, he started looking worse so we took him into his room to have privacy and I called his mom to let her know it would happen soon and the doctor would call her later (parents were unable to be there). We all took turns hugging him and saying our goodbyes. Over and over, I just kept saying that I was so sorry – so sorry that he got the short end of the stick in so many unfortunate ways.

About an hour later, as I was snuggling him, he stopped breathing. His heart stopped beating moments later. I handed him to another nurse and went to get the doctor. He came in and declared that he had passed. We gave him a bath and created a memory box for his parents – some locks of hair and prints of his hands and feet. I know it seems strange that they weren’t there for the death but I know that they adored him so much.

I don’t think it’s super appropriate to discuss patient matters on a blog so I hope I got the essence of his life in words without compromising his privacy. I just felt it was important that I take a moment to remember him and share his short life with other people. I had never held someone as they died and I never thought I’d want that responsibility. But as sad as death is, I know that he was loved and that he is comfortable now. I’m glad I was able to be with him and that we were able to keep him warm and safe and snuggled through his last night.

Freecycle follow-up

I've talked before about the wonders of freecycle.

The downside? When you post a listing, you get emails that end with this signature:

Cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, sewing, homeschooling and AP mama to X, Y, and Z. New baby girl Z coming soon.

Is it necessary to have this much information included in every email you send from your yahoo account?

Sidenote - I met a girl at a Super Bowl party who works for yahoo. I asked her if they walk around saying "Ya-hooooooooo-oooo!" at work. She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh.

Shirts

Something I don't get...I was always under the impression that if your shirt pulled between your chest, then it was too tight. I usually try to avoid that...although at this stage, I really don't care. Everything is pulling. But I think it's weird that it's acceptable according to this gap.com website photo.

Also, because clothes are starting to frustrate me, I'm making my move to shoes. Specifically the retro NB sneakers. Because what I really need are more sneakers...especially sneakers that aren't useful for exercise.

But seriously? How awesome are these? And on sale! And in millions of colors!!

Whoopie Pies

I decided to make Whoopie Pies for cooking club today. The theme is "quick and healthy"...so I went with "bad for you and sort of complicated". I don't listen to directions apparently.

I used the mix from WS - I thought this would make it easier but I'm not convinced. But it was red velvet and I am a sucker for red food during Valentine's Day so I bought it ($14!!!! And it only made six pies!!!).

The directions call for cream cheese frosting but I wasn't sure about that (KLG later pointed out that WS probably suggested cream cheese frosting because that is the usual pairing with red velvet cake - she's so smart! College professor and all that!). I polled some friends with the question "Do whoopie pies traditionally have cream cheese or marshmallow filling? Or is it just a buttercream frosting?".

Here are the responses:

- isn't it like whipped cream?

- i always thought marshmallow!

- I don't know. clearly the internet is working, i suggest you go there.

- i cant help! I am not sure I have ever had a whoopie pie.

- Not cream cheese for sure. Some involve marshmallow. I think the traditional filling is like frosting with a lot of Crisco.

- aren't they an Amish thing? i would say definitely not cream cheese.

My favorite part of my friends' responses is that some of them googled "whoopie pie recipe" and then sent me the exact same link - coincidentally the same site that I had read PRIOR to emailing them. Actually not coincidentally because it's the first suggestion if you google "whoopie pie recipe".

Do my friends (and husband and brother) think I don't know how to google?

Also I think it's funny that some friends called them an Amish thing and some called them a Maine thing - my friends are very geographically divided. If you do google "whoopie pie recipe" and click on the first link, you can read the whole history of whoopie pies. It's fascinating.

Anyway, they are now made (with a marshmallow filling per the New England recipe because I thought I should skip the raw eggs).

They look cute but I'm not sold - I can't wait to taste one!

Also, in totally unrelated but still food news, I bought almond butter yesterday. If I read another article about peanut exposure in utero or via breastmilk leading to peanut allergies or asthma, I will freak out. A special thanks to my employer - we get articles like this emailed to us once/week. I didn't mind them when it was a "job thing" but now I'm worried as a parent-to-be. Almond butter seems like a good alternative (NOT eating a nut butter is not an alternative). However, almond butter is TEN DOLLARS PER JAR. Seriously? This better be good.

Politics

M has a very good friend who works for a politician. This politician is running in a very big election in November. This politician and I have very different ideals and I would not usually consider voting for him.

However, as M pointed out, if this politician loses, our friend will not have a job.

So how would you vote?

My take is that I vote because of how I feel about certain issues, not because of how I feel about the politician himself (or herself). Also, I feel that our friend knows the risks involved in joining a political campaign - he left his secure job and took a risk with this job because he knows the advantages that will come his way if the candidate wins.

On the other hand...if this was not a friend and was M or my brother, would I change my tune?

Heh

This is an awesome picture:
1. the sweatshirt.
2. the skullcap.
3. many, many vitamins.
4. the expression (I think I'm trying to be tough).

More photos

Ok, I'm posting some more photos but PLEASE answer my mattress questions from the post below!

Also my dad thinks I need a radon detector and a smoke detector in the baby's room. True?

Onto pictures...this is where I stand when I take photos. These are the stairs that I fell down in Oct 2007. Sigh.


Here I am at 24 weeks exactly:
And here's 23.5 weeks before the video shoot:

More advice!

Seriously, you would think I was the first person to ever be pregnant...and I don't mean that in a "me and my baby are SO special" way...I mean it as "holy, this is harder than I thought - I have so much more appreciation for my friends now" way. Seriously. I am impressed by each of you who managed to have children without freaking out!

Ok, I need more advice:
1. What does one wear to the gym during their third trimester? This kid is sitting VERY low and my gym pants are no longer comfortable. Do they make maternity gym clothes? ***Also, WHOA, am I almost in my third trimester????? ***
2. Don't even get me started on my sports bras.
3. Or my regular bras. ***Funny side story - M was reading Baby Bargains out loud recently and started asking me about nursing bras and clogged ducts. Never thought we would have THAT conversation. ***
4. Big question of the day - what mattress do you have in your crib? This is harder than I thought - Babies R Us has so many options and Baby Bargains hates them all!!!

Also, I have NOT received my glucose results yet. Apparently there is a backlog at the lab and I should just be happy that I got my thyroid results! :)

So mattresses...offer opinions, please!!!

Advice

Ok, I am getting a little worried about the glucose challenge on Friday. Totally standard for all pregnant women and it's just a precursor to a diabetes test...so if I have a high blood sugar with this test, then I have to take the real challenge/test.

We all know that JS in P loooooves carbs - so I'm worried that I'm going to have a high reading!!

Any cheat secrets? I mean, besides eating well for the last six months???

1. I heard I should fast 8-10 hours before I take the glucola.
2. Some have recommended lots of water; some say none.
3. No concentrated sweets 24 hours before the test.
4. Should I eat a hard-boiled egg while I'm drinking the glucola or just continue the fast?

Help!