More Quick Thoughts

1. I can't believe no one commented on my last post. I still need advice on getting rid of a giant pillow.

2. My baby is almost six months. How is that possible? Also, I think I need a nap/eating schedule for a six month old. I have no idea how to frame our day. Any advice?

3A. One of my friends (who is half-Asian) swears that my daughter looks Asian in certain photos. I tend to agree.
3B. Somewhat related - my friend sent me a link the other day to a mom's group in town. I thought it was weird since there is a HUGE mom's group here (like over 1000 families) and I didn't see the point of a little one. Anyway, I just joined because I figured that it wouldn't hurt to have more activities over the winter and I see this testimonial - "We are excited to be a part of the group. C is 15 months old and loves to walk everywhere. He is a happy and active boy that likes to explore. We look forward to meeting other Asian kids soon." Wait, what?????

4. I am going to TX for a wedding on New Year's Day (no husband, no baby). I'm trying to decide if I should wean the baby beforehand so that I don't have to deal with pumping while away or if I should continue breastfeeding...I'm going to play it day-by-day now. I figure she's now been BF x 6 months so at least Giselle Bundchen will be happy (ha, I totally stole that joke from AMW). Also, I've been supplementing with formula since day one.

5. The baby is super distracted lately while eating - someone recommended a nursing necklace. Is this useful???

Quick Thoughts

1. I described myself as "the Liz Lemon of playgroup" to Mike the other night. If you watch 30 Rock, you know this is not a good thing. Similarities...awkward, earnest, many striped shirts. It's bad. I am embarrassed after each playgroup. I never giggle or act like my usual self.
2. This came up because Mike said something about how he figured that we were the stars of playgroup. I had to inform him that his wife is a fictional nerd and his daughter sits there with a scowl on her face (which she does in large groups of people).
3. In other news, the day care provider did say that she was one of the most smiley baby she's ever known. So the scowl is reserved for playgroup which makes me feel better.
4. Remember how I was in love with my Snoogle? Now it's just taking up room. How does one get rid of a GIANT gently-used pillow? That's not really something you can put out with the trash. But it's not really something that you can give to someone else...here, have the pillow that I drooled on for 4 months.

Pet Peeve

I went to Target last night and they were taking down the Halloween stuff and putting up the Christmas stuff. Did you think that would be my pet peeve? Nope - I figure anything after November 1st is fine.

My pet peeve is that I can't stand when people spell Christmas as "Xmas". I feel that it kind of misses the point about Christmas, hmmmm? Also, now that I've typed "Christmas" numerous times, I kind of can say that it's hard to type. But still...

Another pet peeve is when someone says "ugh, I think (kind of food) is GROSS. I would never eat it. It smells like poo"...when I'm in the middle of eating that food. I appreciate your opinion - could you wait until I don't have the poo-food in my mouth?

ok, I'm feeling better now. Onto daydreaming about Christmas!!!

Food

We had our daughter's baptism this weekend and then took our families out to dinner at a great place in Brooklyn. I just wrote out the menu and my mouth started watering again.

I'm copying and pasting it so you can get hungry too.

Everything was family-style (my spelling may be off):

- roasted artichokes in lemon sauce on arugula, baked clams, mozzarella in corrozza (google this - basically fried grilled cheese), fried shrimp and shrimp cocktail
- Mediterranean salad
- pasta course - fusilli in vodka sauce and linguine with clam sauce
- entrees - chicken francese and chicken marsala
- sides - broccoli rabe and mashed potatoes
- dessert - big plates of spumoni, slices of cheesecake, slices of carrot cake, tartufo, etc...

Seriously, it was awesome. I'm hungry.

And because I don't plan to post her photo, here's a glimpse of her with a proud and happy momma:

Article about hip dysplasia

There was a great article about hip dysplasia in People magazine. It also included some information about the Pavlik harness. Here's some excerpts from it:

http://celebritybabies.people.com/2010/09/29/larry-the-cable-guy-and-wife-cara-how-we-healed-our-son%E2%80%99s-hip-dysplasia/

A few things really resonated with me - especially when the mother said that she would "get one hour out of 24 when I got to squeeze him and hold him like a real baby"...that really is one of the hardest parts about it for me. You just want to snuggle (and breastfeed) your child in the normal position and it's hard to realize that you can't.

I will say that I'm so glad that I stuck with breastfeeding even though it sucked. I am sad that for half of her life, I couldn't hold her "normally" but now that she's only in it part-time, I'm glad that I kept doing it.

The comments from readers after the article are also interesting. When my daughter was diagnosed, I found very little information on such a supposedly common disorder, I'm so glad to hear all of these stories. I'm also so blessed that my daughter was diagnosed on day #2 and has been followed by an amazing pediatric orthopedic surgeon since day #4. The longer diagnosis and treatment takes, the more likely your child is to require hip surgery. Scary! And again, so blessed!

Not Cool!

We rented a cottage on Cape Cod in August. We rented it the first week and my parents rented it the second week. When we first got there, I was definitely disappointed - the place was definitely run-down and the loft that had been heavily billed in the ad was inaccessible except for a ladder (somewhat hard to get to if you were carrying anything - like wine or a baby). Buuuuut...whatever...GREAT location to both downtown and the beach and reasonably priced.

EXCEPT...there were two deposits - $100 for "extraordinary cleaning" and $250 for "house repair".

Guess where this story is going??

That's right - we didn't get our cleaning deposits back. I was a little shocked but i was like "well maybe we didn't clean it as well as we thought - plus there was a ton of trash because of the diapers".

But a few days later, my dad finds out that he didn't get his deposit. Whaaaat???? That's just CRAZY. He is neurotic (thanks to many years in the military and many years as my grandmother's son). He even said that my stepmother told him to STOP cleaning before check-out because it was spotless.

Also, they took $39 out of dad's $250 deposit because he "stole" 2 pillowcases (which he thought belonged to me). He was SO mad "$39 for your shoddy old pillowcases!!!". They couldn't have given him a call to ask if he had them??? So now he's packaging them up and mailing them back without a note. Hee. My dad rarely gets fired-up (similar to my husband, not so similar to me) but when he does, it's awesome.

We (Mike) already called the owner and he was not interested in discussing it. Oh well...time to let it go. Lesson learned!!! Renter beware!

Pavlik

*** This post will not interest my usual readers (ie my brother and six of my friends). However, since my daughter got her Pavlik harness, I've been searching the internet for information and I haven't come up with much. I hope this post will be found by another parent who is searching for information. It is an amalgam of google searches, information from my daughter's doctor and hints from a friend of a friend. ***

Sleep - not happening. I went from having a nine-week-old who sleep 8+ hours (a combination of luck and a strict sleep/nap routine) to having a 15-week-old who sleeps MAYBE 3 or 4 hours at a stretch. And to cap it off - I'm back at work (and caring for other people's children) so the lack of sleep is really hurting us. No solutions yet.

Skin - I think the best thing to do is put on a plain (no appliques) white onesie, then the harness and then a dress. We use onesies that are a little bigger than usual (I think 3-6 month) and they've been washed in Dreft (especially impt since the onesie is so tight against her fair skin all day). We use dresses in the 6 month size. Also when I take the harness off for the "one hour of freedom", I usually bath her and I always do a quick skin check. I look for areas of redness (future breakdown) around the neck, under the arms, on the back, hips and on the thighs. I also check her toes for good circulation and to make sure that they aren't squeezed into the the foot part (this was happening in the smaller Pavlik). If I see problems, I apply Aquaphor to the area and I try to eliminate future rubbing with Duoderm or stockingette. I have also heard of parents putting cornstarch in the booties to avoid the smell.

Cleaning - for a child who can't move, you would be surprised at how dirty and smelly the harness can get. Our daughter's August harness got particularly dirty because we were at the beach for almost two weeks (and I possibly spilled baby vitamin drops all over the back). For dirt, some parents recommend dyeing the harness so you can't see the stains. We didn't do this because I didn't really care about a little dirt. However, a spitty baby equals a stinky/smelly Pavlik. To get rid of the smell, I suggest scrubbing at the spots with a (CLEAN) hard toothbrush and some mild detergent (again, Dreft is probably a good idea). Then scrub again without the detergent (just water) or rinse with as little water as possible. If you need to dry the harness quickly, I suggest blasting it with a hairdryer. Otherwise, let it sit in the sun (this is a natural stain bleacher) for a few hours.

Also, I suggest taking off the booties when changing a dirty (DIRTY) diaper. I've changed a lot of diapers in the last twenty years and infants have an uncanny ability to get their feet smack in the middle of the diaper. Gross. Double gross when it involves your white cloth harness.

Ok, I'll write more in another post. Topics will include gear (slings, Bumbo, etc...), breastfeeding, snuggling, swaddling and the emotional aspect of your child being in a harness.

What's this?

Well...since CCBL updated HER blog, I felt obligated to take a look at mine!

I have SO much to say...of course, it's mostly comments on parenting so I guess this is probably a mommy blog now. :)

Let's start with three things that I didn't understand prior to having a child:

- I had no idea how much laundry we would do! I heard parents complaining about it and I thought "but it's one small child!"...ha ha, I was SO naive. It's not just HER outfit, it's mine, the sheets, the Boppy cover, the bib, etc... we do a load of laundry every 1-2 days.
- You know how you see cars on the highway BRIMING with baby crap? And you wonder why they need that much junk to go away with a little baby? Ok, I totally admit I was judgy about the overpacking....and then i just went away for four days with my daughter and filled the car. We had my bag, her bag, her little vibrating seat, her tub (ok, this was unnecessary but she's having a bad week* and she loves her bath) and the Pack N Play and all of it's accoutrements.
- Talking about your child nonstop --- dude, I'm boring! This never bothered me about other parents but it actually bothers me a lot when I do it. I just talk about her CONSTANTLY. I think there are two reasons - one, this is the best thing that I've ever done so obviously I want to talk about it; two, it's so all-consuming - it's not like I can talk about movies or work or books!

*Yes, I realize that babies can't really have "bad weeks" but she just was placed in a Pavlik harness and she's so irritable so I felt that she deserved her bathtime.

So...there it is...a new blog post! Yay for me!

Other topics for future posts:
- sleep (mine, hers, his, ours)
- why breastfeeding is both awesome and terrible
- the Pavlik harness
- great hints that you guys gave me
- stuff that NO ONE told me
- baby blues/PPD
- general thoughts on labor, hospitals, newborns, etc...

Itzbeen a miracle

Guess who slept from 11pm to 5am last night? What a wonderful day!!!

Edited to add:

The itzbeen is a timer so that sleep-deprived parents can keep track of how long it's been (itzbeen) since a specific task was done. Mike and I find it to be a useful tool to communicate with each other.

Anyway, they measure hours and minutes. Specifically:
- 6 hours and 2 minutes since the baby's diaper was changed
- 6 hours and 2 minutes since she was fed
- 5 hours and 51 minutes since she fell asleep
- I have no idea what that last one measured (it's the misc button)

Doula, etc...

So I have about a million things to share, including:

- my sleep obsession
- unsolicited parenting advice from people on facebook
- the difficulties of breastfeeding (and my experience at La Leche League)
- baby blues/PPD
- general thoughts on labor, hospitals, newborns, etc...

BUT today I want to talk about "the doula"...a few weeks ago, I had a little "breakdown" (I can't think of a nicer word). Basically I was sobbing about the baby's diaper rash when CCBL called...I guess she could tell that I was "not myself" and contacted Mike. He had already spoken to me and had gotten the same impression and was already on his way home. Between him and CCBL, they worked out a little plan for "Operation Bring Sanity Back to Job Satisfaction":

1. get a therapist (she specializes in PPD and is awesome)
2. make sure JS gets some sleep
3. hire a doula!

A few things about doulas:
- they can be either L&D or postpartum
- they can do overnights (like baby nannies) or during the day

The doula service that Mike found does postpartum and they don't do nights (which kind of stinks but would suck our bank acct dry). The director says their services are threefold:
- mother care - lactation support, psychological support, etc...
- newborn care - baths, etc...
- household care - light housekeeping, errands, etc...

A few things about my doula:
- TOTAL HIPPIE
- gray braid on top of her head
- big hippie dresses - i am 99% sure they are breastfeeding dresses even though her kids are grown. I feel like she could whip out the bo.ob at any moment.
- looooooves to recycle
- knits big wool socks for her grandchildren
- obsessed with cell phone ringtones
- loves to make fruit and yogurt smoothies

Anyway, to sum up my first experience with her - within 5 minutes of arriving at our condo, she was grabbing my bo.ob (not sure if that is googlable) and getting my child to eat; within 30 minutes, she was RUBBING MY NASTY SWOLLEN FEET; within 90 minutes, I had left the condo and was heading to pick up a prescription while a stranger did my laundry and watched my newborn. Being overly tired will allow you to do things that you would never imagine.

Since then, she has come over once/week. She has done countless loads of laundry, watered the plants, gone to the supermarket, helped me pack for a weekend trip to see my family, etc...Also, I have napped for two hours while she held my crying child. Like I said, I would never have imagined that I would allow a stranger to care for my child while I slept...then I had a baby and became REALLY TIRED.

We bought a package of 20 hours so it will run out in about two weeks. I think it's a great service but I don't think I can justify it as an ongoing cost. But I'll miss my hippie!

Sidenote - I haven't posted a picture or named my child on this blog. Thoughts on internet privacy?

Timeline

Ok, for those of you who asked, here's the timeline of my birth story. For those of you who did NOT ask, sorry for the details! For those of you who want more grossness, you know where to find me!

Friday night/Saturday:
4pm - go to library where woman behind me in line tells me I'm never going to read any of the books I'm checking out. She is right.
5pm - go to Old Navy to buy summer maternity clothes because it is HOT out and I'm obviously going to be pregnant forever. I started having some "weird feelings" but I thought I had eaten something funny. Ha.
545pm - more "weird feelings" and it dawns on me that this might be real. I call Mike on my drive home from Old Navy.
615pm - I call MJ and say "it doesn't really hurt so could this be it?"...I am obviously stupid/naive.
615pm-midnight (good thing I have emails with MJ to reread - I would have forgotten all of this) - contractions get more intense but I can doze/read magazines in between. I also call my dad/stepmom and tell them to await a phone call in the morning (they don't wait - they left NJ at 6am).
Midnight - OH MY. this hurts A LOT.
1am - I have a few back-to-back contractions. WHOA. This kills. I call MD and say "I had a few two minutes apart" and she says "come in when they are consistently every 3-5 minutes". UGH.
1am-2am - I basically sit in the tub with my shower over me and cry every eight minutes
3am - Mike calls MD again and says that I can't talk during contractions. They are still every eight minutes but Mike totally lies (thank goodness) and says they are every 5-6 minutes.
4am - we arrive at hospital where RN is TOTALLY skeptical and sort of mocks my infrequent contractions. Then she checks me and I'm 5cm dilated...all of a sudden, she and the other RN start taking me seriously. Not that I'm in a mood to say anything but I totally wanted to yell that I knew I was pretty far along.
5am-8am - 6cm dilated, epidural, dozing, calling my parents to say they should start driving up (and then finding out that they are already midway here). Also, epidurals are AWESOME.
10am - 9cm dilated but head not engaged
noon - 10cm!
1230pm - start pushing
230pm - two hours later...still pushing! Head is apparently stuck a bit. Some discussion about a C section but we are making progress so we don't really discuss it further.
330pm - still pushing! Epidural wears off on right side. WHOA PAIN. Also the baby's heartrate doesn't recover quickly after contractions so I can't push with every contraction (turns out this is because the cord was around her neck).
330pm to 423pm - Mike keeps telling me he can see the head (with brown hair!) and I mostly just cry that I am too tired to push.
423pm - BABY!!! YAY! Best feeling in the world!!! They put her on my chest - they had already cut her cord before she was fully out (because she was blue). Someone asked ME if it was a boy or a girl - I was so confused and I couldn't understand why no one knew yet! So I looked...and I was SHOCKED!!! A girl!!!

It was an amazing feeling - we just took turns holding her and laughing and crying and kissing!

That's it!!!

Too tired

So yeah, I had a baby.

And yeah, I'm too tired to write about her.

So here's a photo of my newly painted bathroom with some beautiful flowers from CCS.

A conversation

Last night at 10pm...

M: where are you going?
me: the bathroom.
M: didn't you just go five minutes ago?
me: yeah.
M: wow.
me: yeah.

I will not be using any of these names for my child

VA from VA has come up with an all new list of actual baby names. Awesome.

Kionne Kizzy Olive
Medallion Paul (a female)
Rain A Star
Success
Spirit
Nimrod
Strength
Amazingly Speaks
Furious
Demanguss
Elyzabythe
Cordarryl
Margarita Petron
Exavier
Isaaclama
Jewnaiya
Derquacia
Jazzmeainia
Vanity (incidentally - being seen in in the ER for an overdose)
Fher

I only SAY that I don't like ice cream

I know it seems unlike me but I really don't like to have conversations on the medical area shuttle bus in the morning. This is my "play with my new phone time". However, this girl got on the bus last week with about a million bags, a cup of coffee and a big platter. There were no seats so she asked me to hold her coffee while she reorganized all of her stuff. I was not feeling generous enough to offer her my seat (let's be real) but i did offer to hold the platter...which meant that she then felt comfortable telling me about how she made this dessert for her coworker. HOLY. It sounded so good. I just found it online and I swear, one of you needs to invite me to a summer BBQ so I can have an excuse to make it.

FROZEN BANANA SPLIT

24 (3.5-ounce) ice-cream sandwiches, unwrapped

6 medium bananas, peeled and thinly sliced

1 (12.25-ounce) jar hot-fudge sauce

1 (10-ounce) jar maraschino cherries, drained and finely chopped

1 (8-ounce) package milk chocolate covered toffee bits, divided

1 (12.25-ounce) jar butterscotch ice-cream topping

1 (8-ounce) container frozen nondairy whipped topping, thawed

Line a 13 by 9-inch baking pan with heavy-duty aluminum foil. Place half of ice-cream sandwiches evenly over bottom of pan, completely covering bottom, cutting sandwiches to fit, if necessary. Top evenly with banana slices. Pour hot fudge sauce over bananas. Top with cherries and 1/2 of the toffee bits and pour butterscotch evenly on top. Layer with remaining ice cream sandwiches and spread whipped topping over sandwiches; sprinkle with remaining toffee bits.

Cover and freeze for at least 4 hours. Remove from pan, using foil handles. Cut into squares and serve.

**********************

And because everyone likes to go from thinking about ice cream to thinking about my feet, here's a swelling update - my feet/ankles/calves are looking somewhat normal again. Basically I drank a ton of water, stopped having any artificial sweetener, had a little bit of salt (seems counter intuitive but does help), ate a ton of asparagus, ate a ton of non-processed food, etc...I still appreciate CCBL's reaction. :)

Missing: My ankles

Have you seen my ankles?

36 Week Ultrasound Photo

Ultrasound photo - baby is looking straight on at us, hand covering the mouth.

This blog is SO boring.

Photos as usual

Over a month ago, my MIL asked to see photos of the finished nursery. It’s now been six weeks since I wrote that post and it’s still funny to me. I just don’t feel any rush to get the nursery “done”. If the baby came today (which NO, not going to happen), we would be fine…but the nursery is not “done”.

34 weeks:

35 weeks (same jeans, different black shirt):

I talked about the bibs that K designed for the baby. After she emailed the images to me, I printed them out on yellow paper and framed them - I think they look great!

Also, this blog is just photos and baby yammering. Sorry if it’s boring!

Oh also, the bathroom is now “moccasin” (light brown). And M&M hosted a shower and the baby was further spoiled! Pictures coming soon.

For all the doubters

I am just as surprised as anyone that I went from reading this to making this:



Also, it needs to be hung up in the nursery but I am still admiring it in the kitchen.

Bathroom

I want to get the bathroom painted before the baby arrives but I have no idea re: colors. M says that we should just go with light blue again but I think that's boring. Thoughts? Oh also, no green - CS taught me that tip - no one wants to have green undertones on their skin first thing in the morning under artificial light.

I definitely want to keep the wainscotting and ceiling bright white.

Color options:

1. Repaint same light blue.

2. Pale yellow?

3. Pale pink?

4. Something else? Cream? Taupe?

More photos

This is totally a photo blog now. I'm way too lazy.

First off, my oldest friend K sent me these bibs last week with her original designs on them. They are almost too cute to use so I asked her to send the images to me so I can print and frame them. This way, the baby can get the bibs messy but I get to keep a K masterpiece!
And now photos from the shower in NY and P&K's place...if you want to see more, I've got plenty but here are the highlights.

The lovely hostesses (my stepmother and K):

Me with my stepmother (now known as Nonna to the baby!):

The tables and the centerpieces:

Adorable decoration - and now I have more clothes for the baby too!

Coming together, slowly but surely

Putting together the bookshelf:

Putting together the crib:

Putting together the crib with a fake smile: Looking a little stressed - thankfully this is the closet door in the living room and NOT a crib:

Monkey at the top of the finished bookshelf:

The baby's book collection, courtesy of Auntie PC - one for every month of gestation!

Photos

Oh blogger. Why can't you post pictures in the order that I post them?

My MIL hosted a shower for us (oh, ooops, did I not invite any of you? Nope.)

Gifts:
Cake:

Favors - cookie lollipops with our photos (can you guess which is me and which is M?):

While tossing stuff in the baby's room, I came across my LIGHT-UP tiara from my bachelor (edit - bachelorette) party in Vegas. Oh it's classy! Also, post-haircut.

Last week (31 weeks and 5 days, I think). Also pre-haircut apparently.

I don't ever write anything anymore - I just post photos.

Coming next week:

- CCBL's Box O' Loot

- KLG's artistic gift

- Pictures of us working on the nursery (warning: there are a lot of fake smiles)

This is for Kelly

Someone has a good opinion of his appearance...he told me last week that he was looking REALLY GOOD and getting a lot of attention from the ladies because he had parted his hair differently.

And then Kelly and I mocked him mercilessly. It was awesome.

Photos from last week...out of order.

My mother-in-law asked to see pictures of the finished nursery. HARDY HAR HAR. Unfortunately she wasn't joking. Oh well. I sent her this.


The fan installed by my dad!

Mike and my dad working hard on putting up the fan. Also my dad kind of freaked when I took this photo. Apparently a flash going off when people are working with electricity can be frightening. Ooops.

Me at 30 weeks in my gym clothes.

That was last Monday. I've done nothing of note since then (ummm, except not eat solids for three days - thanks, Norovirus!). So not eating and not exercising - Mother of the Year.

Also, I obviously don't know how to put photos up in order today.

If you can't say anything nice....

Let's get the dying baby story off the top of the blog, shall we? New topic...

I've found that walking around with a bump means that people feel they can freely offer advice and opinions about pregnancy, deliveries and childrearing. They also feel free to offer opinions about weight gain and rub my belly (and we all know I don't like overtouching).

Maybe it's because I work with a lot of women...I have approximately 75 colleagues between my two positions and I'd say that 60+ of them are women. In addition, many of them are women in their mid50s which seems to be the prime age for comments.

My friend AMW says it is just a rite of passage...she's right but I still am taken aback when someone walks by and offers up an opinion. I'm sure I did the same thing before I got pregnant so I'd like to offer a blanket apology to my friends - you all looked gorgeous then and now!

So without further adieu, here are my favorite pregnancy comments (some mine, some others):
1. Are you sure you're not having twins? I think this is a pretty common one - another variation - are you sure there is only one in there?
2. You're having a girl because your face and ass have gotten bigger.
3. You're having a girl because you're really round all over (ha ha, this was to me - I told the woman that I was round and fat pre-pregnancy so then she got all flustered and said she wasn't saying I was fat)
4. You have another ten weeks to go? No way! Variation of this: you have ANOTHER three months??????
5. WHOA! Your girls are huge - you need to put on your coat!
6. Still here? you're ready to pop!
7. You're going to spoil your child.
8. Don't hold your child too much.
9. You should use a pacifier.
10. You shouldn't use a pacifier.


So here's my new rule: I'm limiting myself to simple phrases only. Namely "you look GREAT!".

Do not read if hormonal

Warning – this is sad.

I’m sure if you’ve seen or talked to me recently, I’ve shown you a picture of my little patient. I was his primary nurse and I was obsessed with him. I loved recounting every time he gave me a little gummy infant smile and the day he learned to laugh (just on Wednesday!). Here’s an unsurprising secret – babies think it’s hysterical when you make crazy faces and tickle their necks. Unfortunately, he started to go downhill this weekend and he was “redirected” to comfort care only (no interventions) on Sunday night.

I’m sorry to say that he passed away early on Monday morning. Fortunately, I was able to be at work that night and care for him. I promised myself that he would not be put down all night and I am so grateful to my coworkers that we were able to give that gift to him. I had another patient so we all took turns carrying him and snuggling him and whispering strong words to him as he got worse and worse.

Around 330am, he started looking worse so we took him into his room to have privacy and I called his mom to let her know it would happen soon and the doctor would call her later (parents were unable to be there). We all took turns hugging him and saying our goodbyes. Over and over, I just kept saying that I was so sorry – so sorry that he got the short end of the stick in so many unfortunate ways.

About an hour later, as I was snuggling him, he stopped breathing. His heart stopped beating moments later. I handed him to another nurse and went to get the doctor. He came in and declared that he had passed. We gave him a bath and created a memory box for his parents – some locks of hair and prints of his hands and feet. I know it seems strange that they weren’t there for the death but I know that they adored him so much.

I don’t think it’s super appropriate to discuss patient matters on a blog so I hope I got the essence of his life in words without compromising his privacy. I just felt it was important that I take a moment to remember him and share his short life with other people. I had never held someone as they died and I never thought I’d want that responsibility. But as sad as death is, I know that he was loved and that he is comfortable now. I’m glad I was able to be with him and that we were able to keep him warm and safe and snuggled through his last night.

Freecycle follow-up

I've talked before about the wonders of freecycle.

The downside? When you post a listing, you get emails that end with this signature:

Cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, sewing, homeschooling and AP mama to X, Y, and Z. New baby girl Z coming soon.

Is it necessary to have this much information included in every email you send from your yahoo account?

Sidenote - I met a girl at a Super Bowl party who works for yahoo. I asked her if they walk around saying "Ya-hooooooooo-oooo!" at work. She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh.

Shirts

Something I don't get...I was always under the impression that if your shirt pulled between your chest, then it was too tight. I usually try to avoid that...although at this stage, I really don't care. Everything is pulling. But I think it's weird that it's acceptable according to this gap.com website photo.

Also, because clothes are starting to frustrate me, I'm making my move to shoes. Specifically the retro NB sneakers. Because what I really need are more sneakers...especially sneakers that aren't useful for exercise.

But seriously? How awesome are these? And on sale! And in millions of colors!!

Whoopie Pies

I decided to make Whoopie Pies for cooking club today. The theme is "quick and healthy"...so I went with "bad for you and sort of complicated". I don't listen to directions apparently.

I used the mix from WS - I thought this would make it easier but I'm not convinced. But it was red velvet and I am a sucker for red food during Valentine's Day so I bought it ($14!!!! And it only made six pies!!!).

The directions call for cream cheese frosting but I wasn't sure about that (KLG later pointed out that WS probably suggested cream cheese frosting because that is the usual pairing with red velvet cake - she's so smart! College professor and all that!). I polled some friends with the question "Do whoopie pies traditionally have cream cheese or marshmallow filling? Or is it just a buttercream frosting?".

Here are the responses:

- isn't it like whipped cream?

- i always thought marshmallow!

- I don't know. clearly the internet is working, i suggest you go there.

- i cant help! I am not sure I have ever had a whoopie pie.

- Not cream cheese for sure. Some involve marshmallow. I think the traditional filling is like frosting with a lot of Crisco.

- aren't they an Amish thing? i would say definitely not cream cheese.

My favorite part of my friends' responses is that some of them googled "whoopie pie recipe" and then sent me the exact same link - coincidentally the same site that I had read PRIOR to emailing them. Actually not coincidentally because it's the first suggestion if you google "whoopie pie recipe".

Do my friends (and husband and brother) think I don't know how to google?

Also I think it's funny that some friends called them an Amish thing and some called them a Maine thing - my friends are very geographically divided. If you do google "whoopie pie recipe" and click on the first link, you can read the whole history of whoopie pies. It's fascinating.

Anyway, they are now made (with a marshmallow filling per the New England recipe because I thought I should skip the raw eggs).

They look cute but I'm not sold - I can't wait to taste one!

Also, in totally unrelated but still food news, I bought almond butter yesterday. If I read another article about peanut exposure in utero or via breastmilk leading to peanut allergies or asthma, I will freak out. A special thanks to my employer - we get articles like this emailed to us once/week. I didn't mind them when it was a "job thing" but now I'm worried as a parent-to-be. Almond butter seems like a good alternative (NOT eating a nut butter is not an alternative). However, almond butter is TEN DOLLARS PER JAR. Seriously? This better be good.

Politics

M has a very good friend who works for a politician. This politician is running in a very big election in November. This politician and I have very different ideals and I would not usually consider voting for him.

However, as M pointed out, if this politician loses, our friend will not have a job.

So how would you vote?

My take is that I vote because of how I feel about certain issues, not because of how I feel about the politician himself (or herself). Also, I feel that our friend knows the risks involved in joining a political campaign - he left his secure job and took a risk with this job because he knows the advantages that will come his way if the candidate wins.

On the other hand...if this was not a friend and was M or my brother, would I change my tune?

Heh

This is an awesome picture:
1. the sweatshirt.
2. the skullcap.
3. many, many vitamins.
4. the expression (I think I'm trying to be tough).

More photos

Ok, I'm posting some more photos but PLEASE answer my mattress questions from the post below!

Also my dad thinks I need a radon detector and a smoke detector in the baby's room. True?

Onto pictures...this is where I stand when I take photos. These are the stairs that I fell down in Oct 2007. Sigh.


Here I am at 24 weeks exactly:
And here's 23.5 weeks before the video shoot:

More advice!

Seriously, you would think I was the first person to ever be pregnant...and I don't mean that in a "me and my baby are SO special" way...I mean it as "holy, this is harder than I thought - I have so much more appreciation for my friends now" way. Seriously. I am impressed by each of you who managed to have children without freaking out!

Ok, I need more advice:
1. What does one wear to the gym during their third trimester? This kid is sitting VERY low and my gym pants are no longer comfortable. Do they make maternity gym clothes? ***Also, WHOA, am I almost in my third trimester????? ***
2. Don't even get me started on my sports bras.
3. Or my regular bras. ***Funny side story - M was reading Baby Bargains out loud recently and started asking me about nursing bras and clogged ducts. Never thought we would have THAT conversation. ***
4. Big question of the day - what mattress do you have in your crib? This is harder than I thought - Babies R Us has so many options and Baby Bargains hates them all!!!

Also, I have NOT received my glucose results yet. Apparently there is a backlog at the lab and I should just be happy that I got my thyroid results! :)

So mattresses...offer opinions, please!!!

Advice

Ok, I am getting a little worried about the glucose challenge on Friday. Totally standard for all pregnant women and it's just a precursor to a diabetes test...so if I have a high blood sugar with this test, then I have to take the real challenge/test.

We all know that JS in P loooooves carbs - so I'm worried that I'm going to have a high reading!!

Any cheat secrets? I mean, besides eating well for the last six months???

1. I heard I should fast 8-10 hours before I take the glucola.
2. Some have recommended lots of water; some say none.
3. No concentrated sweets 24 hours before the test.
4. Should I eat a hard-boiled egg while I'm drinking the glucola or just continue the fast?

Help!

I don't know him.

Someone had a thirtieth birthday party last night. And someone decided to shave his beard MID-party.

Wow.

Also, I appreciate MJ's question about my video shoot - it went really well!! I hope I'm in the final version so I can post it here.

I'm gonna be famous!

I guess I feel less fired up now that I'm feeling the love from work! So how am I going to look camera-ready by next week?

X is producing a short video which will be shown by X at the end of February. The video will also be posted on the intranet. We are looking for approximately 75 people to be filmed—for about 5 minutes each—answering a few simple questions about what makes X unique and special. The filming will take place on X on January 20 and 21. You were recommended as someone who might be good for this video – which is meant to be very fun and upbeat.

Yes, I am this excited about a possible 30 second cameo in a video for a meeting and the inTRAnet.

Fired Up

I'm all fired up. I was boarding the shuttle tonight when a woman asked the driver if he went to **** House. For lack of a better term, the **** House is almost like a B&B for parents of kids receiving treatment at the hospital...think Ronald McDonald House but privately run by the hospital.

The shuttle driver said that he would drop the woman off nearby. Honestly at that point, I was in my own little fog of "end of 12 hour day" and kind of ignored the situation. A few blocks into the ride, he pulled over and told the woman to get out at the corner and directed her how to get there. It was only three blocks BUT it was 13 degrees and pitch black out. Plus she had never been there, was not familiar with Boston and was carrying two bags.

Let's not forget that if she needs to stay at the **** House, she is dealing with a very ill child.

So of course, I open my mouth (surprised?) and tell the driver to drive her all the way to the house...because none of us employees mind going TWO MINUTES out of our way on the way to the parking lot. Right??? Right???? But no one else on the shuttle bus even notices this conversation so no one chimes in to agree with me. Meanwhile, the driver hems and haws and turns the corner further away from the house...REALLY? I was furious. This is how we treat the parents of our sickest patients? We ignore their simple needs???

FIRED UP, I tell ya.

To be fair, maybe the other riders were all in their post-12 hour day fog too because a few seconds later, one of the men on the shuttle jumps into the argument and suggests that since the driver already turned the corner, he might as well drive us to the parking lot and then drop the woman directly off at the **** House.

He then leaned over to me and apologized because he didn't realize that it was a parent that I was arguing for (for whom I was arguing?). Then we had a lovely conversation about how the **** House is really nice (see photo).

Anyway, I'm still fired up. I was trying to do my good deed for the day and I just ended up feeling so annoyed that the driver and the other riders couldn't see that two minutes of our time would save a cold walk in the dark for a mother of a sick child. Grrrrrr.


Sidenote - this house used to be a frat house and was remodeled by the hospital last year while keeping the outside facade. Gorgeous!

Worth a thousand words

This blogpost is because I'm cleaning out the photos on my phone in anticipation of getting a new one (don't even START, Mike!).

About a 100 funny things strike me in this photo:
1. The fact that my grandmother really wanted a nice photo of the two of us.
2. That we agreed to do it.
3. We coordinated our outfits!
4. We were only 22 and 19.
5. That it looks like an engagement photo.
6. That we coerced KC to take the photos.
7. Oh yes, that there were many more outtakes before we agreed on this one (this was pre-digital cameras, by the way).
8. That we did the posing at KC's work building because it was decorated for Christmas.
9. That we are so obviously related...something that I usually can't see.
10. And yes, this picture is still displayed in my grandparents' living room - which is why I was able to take a picture of it with my phone.

Best Gift Ever

This is the Snoogle pillow. I also like to refer to it as "the best thing that has ever happened to me". Some might argue that marriage to an incredible man or the conception of our long-awaited child would be better than a pillow.

Those people would be wrong. This trumps marriage and child. Although one could also create a connection from the marriage to the pregnancy to the back aches and sleepless nights to the need for a Snoogle. So I guess it is all related.

Look how it cradles! It's fantastic! You can also flip it around if you want to wrap your arms around it - I prefer to lean my back into it.